Part 2 of this crazy journey.
November 3 – I get a lot done on the weekends these days! I’m in high gear from 8 a.m. – 6 p.m. After that, I take a quick turn toward moody, famished, and/or passed out. This weekend in a spurt of intense energy I found myself up on a ladder, painting the ceiling, helping with crown molding, and running back and forth to the hardware store. Not necessarily what “they” would advise a pregnant woman to do (don’t worry, I was careful – I wore a respirator, gloves, the whole bit), but I am having a hard time reconciling the fact that I feel normal (maybe even better than ever!) with the notion that I’m supposed to be “taking it easy.” I feel more pressure than ever to get things done. Who knows when I’ll be overcome with all of the symptoms I’ve read about – fatigue, nausea, heartburn, achiness, ligament pain. I’ve never felt more behind the saying – seize the day!
November 4 – I just re-read the directions on my prenatal vitamins. For the last week I’ve only been taking one when I am supposed to be taking two a day! I’m a panicked, horrified, barfy, self-doubting, self-hating, mess right now! How could I have been so lackadaisical with such an important part of pregnancy? Mom guilt has hit me head on. I surely have already messed up my child.
...Six hours later and I’m feeling better. I have still been getting enough folic acid – but I should really be getting more. In addition to taking TWO of my prenatal vitamins each day – I have pledged to eat my weight in leafy greens, citrus fruit, and beans.
November 8 – My first real test in being a sneaky pregnant woman occurred at my neighborhood annual Progressive Dinner. Incidentally, I plan the whole event and so my running around giving other people glasses of wine may have been enough of a distraction. No one seems to be the wiser.
November 9 – I wake up feeling like I partied with the best of them last night. For a moment I thought – did someone spike my drinks last night? Then I remembered today marks 6 weeks. This must be what morning sickness feels like. One giant hangover without any of the fun preceding it.
November 10 – I’m hungry. Like really hungry. Jay offers to make me a big pancake breakfast to start my Monday morning off right and I couldn’t be happier. I eat four pancakes slathered in butter and syrup. Halfway up the stairs I start to get hot, dizzy, and super queasy. You can infer the rest. I’m never having pancakes again.
November 11 – OK – I’m sick. Full blown morning sickness and a bad cold. I want to curl up in a ball and cry. So I did.
November 12 – 20 – A blur of sleeping and getting sick, only to be interrupted by trips to Wendy’s, Five Guys and/or McDonald’s. I’m so sorry baby. Spicy chicken sandwiches, cheeseburgers and Coke seem to be about the only thing I can hold down.
November 21 – It’s week 8. Feeling pretty confident that I am indeed pregnant, evidenced by every single classic pregnancy symptom EVER, I decide to tell a few close friends that I’m expecting. None of the reveals go quite as planned, and I realize I’m not very good at telling people the “BIG NEWS!” My best friend Jamie outted me when she asked what I’d like to drink at the bar. I told her I needed a second to browse the menu. Panicked, I quickly tried to find a mocktail that she wouldn’t suspect. No luck. I did not want to tell my best friend of 20 years that I’m having a baby while we were sitting at Chinese buffet bar waiting for our table at the nice, new restaurant in town to be ready. Alas, that’s what happened. You can’t win them all.
November 27 – Happy Thanksgiving! I told my sister and brother the news. Not around the dinner table as I had originally daydreamed. It’s confirmed, I’m very bad at delivering the announcement. I wait too long. I pick awkward times. I’m not gushing, and I’m sure as hell not glowing. But all of this is only because I’m doing my best to stay awake and/or not hurl. It’s not because I’m not overjoyed. I am. It’s just really hard to show it right now.